Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

How is a narcissist likely to handle situations when confronted with hard truths about themselves?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Be who you already are.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What a list actors/ actresses are notorious for being jerks in real life?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Can you share a picture of your favorite outfit and explain why you love it?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

The sadness was still there.

Can a Trump supporter explain what was wrong with what Bishop Budde said to Donald Trump?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

You are like me, then.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Ancient fossils show how the last mass extinction forever scrambled the ocean’s biodiversity - The Conversation

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of fighting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do some straight men enjoy wearing women's lingerie?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s still here.

I had run out of hope.

What could be the result if I block a covert narc back after he said blocks were going back up, maybe we try this again?

And the sadness?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Is Tinder the best dating app?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.